When Deconstruction is Holy
Deconstruction is holy, if it breaks off disillusionment.
When it brings a maturing clarity that increases submitted lovesickness.
Otherwise, it’s just another way of rebellion—of coping independently, outside of His body in self-reliance.
Otherwise, it simply is just, disillusionment.
The latter is usually always followed by seasons of disappointment, bitterness, areas of offense with God, self and the church…carrying wounds that haven’t been fully submitted, addressed and have become infected. Ironically, leading one further into disillusionment and independency while labeling it “deconstruction” or “sobering”.
The fruit of this is: independency and hiddenness—pride. There is less daily honest interaction with God and His church, less vulnerability, more blurriness and self-justification with the lines of sin.
Yet the whole point of maturation in our discipleship to Jesus is to allow Holy Spirit to deconstruct. For to avoid pain is to fracture from our humanity—is to fracture from reality.
The life of the christian faith is to continually make unhindered and honest, brutal contact with reality.
It is to be disorienting in every way to what we thought we were so sure of…making us ask more questions than ever, leading us into breaking off the compartmentalization of dualistic thinking, all self-righteousness, pharisaical pretense, the hostile judgement of right vs. wrong, thinking in absolutes, what is black and what is white, where we are to become more fragile in a divine displacing, living in tension, embracing of mystery, moldable—entirely needy.
The fruit is: deeper dependency, humility, surrender, connection to His body, repentance, striking and offensive holiness, purity, clarity and radical hunger.
Maturation in Christ is to deconstruct the disillusionment of man’s self-made religion that leads to burnout, the pain of its self-reliance, measuring stick pressures and expectations, control and striving, false belief systems about ourselves and Him, areas where we have used God and the church for ourselves. Usually, unknowingly, as some kind of twisted consumption where it’s about what He can do for us, dependent on our selfish preferences, on our “destiny or calling”, where we are looking at the self, horizontally, pointing out the church’s hypocrisy instead of simply living to minister to Him, vertically. Instead of relationally loving Him in simple, glorious communion and friendship, showing up for Him, fully yielded, living entirely submitted to His Lordship.
Where we are inside the dance of bridal intimacy, where we are to render shame, control and the selfishness of the ego to die on the cross and become further restored into His reality. Living in Union, sinking into a deep and wildly liberating renovation of the heart, into core inner repentance and transformation, experiencing the restoration of what it truly means to be human, where every box breaks and we discover a love so unconditional that it reconciles all things within us and outside of us, back to Himself.
Into union, where our lives are fully no longer led by our own leading or understanding but completely yielded to the wine of His spirit which is the only thing that ever brings true sobriety.
Which is…when deconstruction is holy.
